Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on
the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the
modem.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as
if thou are transparent.
Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the
refrigerator.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy bottom.
Thou shalt not lie down with thy bottom in thy human's
face.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on
it.
Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged
lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shalt realise that the house is not a prison from
which to escape at thy first opportunity.
Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too
slowly.
Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are
guests in thy house.
Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that
houseplants are not meat.
