House Rules For The Cat!






Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.





Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the computer.


  



Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.





  
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.





Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.   





Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy bottom.





Thou shalt not lie down with thy bottom in thy human's face.


  



Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.   





Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.


  



Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.





Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.





Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.   





Thou shalt realise that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first opportunity.





Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.


  


Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.





Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.





Thou shalt not pass gas when lying on the back of the sofa near they master's head!





Thou shalt not howl and announce thy love for the fair lady cat when they master is asleep! Thou shalt keep it discrete!





Thou shalt not sharpen thy claws on thy masters legs while she is wearing new pantyhose!!





Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.


Author Unknown - But Cat Smart!

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